After leaving Hualian 花莲后记

In summary, during my stay in Hualian, 10 people told me to return to my studies. They are the 4 SB from the Construction Department, 1 Shi Fu during a chat in the Abode, another Shi Fu while I was helping her with candle-making, 2 SG who are Xi De mother during the Tzu Ching camp, 1 SJ who is VP Lin secretary and 1 SG who gave me a ride from Abode to the train station. 2 people told me to think about it carefully, they are a Shi Fu during a chat in the Abode and Zheng Xian SX who recommended me to attend the Tzu Ching camp to understand Tzu Chi and me better.

一言以蔽之，我在花莲时有十位慈济人希望我回去读书，他们是营建处四位师伯师兄、一位在精舍闲聊的常住师父、一位我帮忙做福慧烛的常住师父、两位当懿德妈妈的师姑、当林副总秘书的一位师姐和一位送我到花莲火车站的师姑。两人希望我仔细想想，一位是在精舍闲聊的常住师父和建议我参加慈青营队多了解慈济和自己的政宪师兄。

Nobody asked me to stay in Hualian. Hence, I happily return back to Singapore.

没人要求我留在花莲。因此满心欢喜地回到新加坡。

Later I realized from Jiuan SX that Hualian works in an interesting way. If you are not totally committed to staying in Hualian, they will tell you to return back to what you are doing. Hualian is looking for someone who is totally committed in contributing to Tzu Chi and the world. Frankly, I am surprised upon hearing it but I understand the rational behind it. I have only myself to blame that I am still new to Tzu Chi and furthermore, I am not fully committed to staying in Hualian. Life is Hualian is simple and full of hardship. I can stand the hardship, although I am very surprise initially at the "primitive" way of life, which is extinct in Singapore.

后来建发师兄与我分享，花莲是个发愿的地方。如果你没有发心立愿要留在花莲，大家都会希望你回去。慈济希望回来花莲的都是全心全意回来奉献的。坦白说，听了这段话后，我感到十分惊讶，但是我了解其用意。我只能怪自己还是新进志工，并且没有发大愿要留在花莲。我虽然过得下花莲的俭朴生活，但还是对以在新加坡再也找不到的生活方式感到吃惊。

After returning to Singapore, I chatted with Beth and Marshall online. I came to understand that there are only a couple of Tzu Chi volunteers in Hualian who truly understand what Master is thinking. They are the few young people who gave up everything to return to Hualian and VP Lin. Unfortunately, they are not in Hualian during my stay and I missed my opportunity to speak to them. They will tell me the other side of the story where Master really needs us, professional educated young people, to return to Hualian to contribute to Tzu Chi.

回国后，我与怡玮和升伦在线上聊天，方了解就算是在花莲，只有少数慈济人真正了解上人的理念。他们是为数不多、放弃了一切回到花莲的清修士和林副总。很不幸的是，我在花莲时他们都不在。他们会告诉我上人真得需要我们这些年轻的专业人士回到花莲为慈济奉献。

There is one particular conversation I had with Marshall. He asked me whether I knew why Master started Tzu Chi. He told me that Master's idea is to open a door, a door of charity for people to enter to contribute. Eventually, Master hopes that after entering the door of charity, they will continue and enter the door of Buddhism. Hence, Master's work is similar to Buddha's way of teaching, where Buddha teaches 42 years of convenience teaching before he starts the truth teaching. Buddha's idea was to ensure that everybody had some knowledge of Buddhism and is well prepared before teaching the truth of Buddhism. In the same way, Master started our 4 missions: Charity, Medicine, Education and Culture as the door of charity. After 40 years, she formed the Tzu Chi Sect as a new sect of Buddhism and started encouraging us to learn the Amitartha Sutra and the Lotus Sutra, which contains the truth of Buddhism.

其中我与升伦的一段话十分重要。他问我是否知道上人为什么开创慈济世界。他说上人希望开一扇门，让大家付出的一道善门。最终目标是希望会众从善门入佛门。佛陀说法四十九年，前四十二年说方便法，最后七年才说正法。佛陀认为不先说方便法，因缘不会具足，没人听得懂正法。上人是紧跟着佛陀的教诲，用了四十年开创慈济四大志业，慈善、医疗、教育、人文。因缘具足后，上人再立慈济宗门，并开始鼓励我们学习无量义经和法华经，佛教的大乘经典。

I replied that I knew that Master started our 4 missions and Buddha 2 stages of teaching, but I never link them together. However, I read in Master's explanation of the Amitartha Sutra that whenever a Buddha is going to leave the world, he will start explaining the Amitartha Sutra, which is what Master is doing now. Marshall replied me that Master once told us that Buddha only lived till 80, meaning that she will not live more than that. Master is 71 this year.

我回答说我明白上人开创慈济四大志业以及佛陀开演方便法和正法，但是我从来没有把这两件事情连接在一起。不过上人解说无量义经时，说道每当一尊佛准备入灭时，都会开讲法华三部经。而上人正在开演无量义经！升伦接着说上人提过佛陀只住世八十年，意味着上人自己不会住世多过八十年。而上人今年七十一岁。

It suddenly dawned on me why so many SX and SJ are working so hard to be certified. I understand why Marshall and Beth are encouraging me strongly to return to Hualian. Both of them are returning to Hualian in a year.

我这才恍然大悟，明白为何有那么多师兄和师姐如此精进，希望早日受证。我明白为什么升伦和怡玮如此的积极鼓励我回返花莲。两人都打算一年后回花莲。

However, Guo Chuo SB and Qiong Wen cautioned me not to read too much into "Master leaving us in a few years". Master wants us to work hard and continue Tzu Chi even when she is no longer around. If you are working so hard just to get certified while Master is still around, does that means that you will stop working once Master leaves? This is not what Master wants and one of the aims of Master starting Tzu Chi is to ensure that Tzu Chi volunteers will continue to work hard even when she is no longer around.

不过，果稠师伯和琼雯告诫我不要过度解读“上人将在几年后离世”这句话。上人希望当她不住世时，我们照样努力精进，维持慈济志业。如果你努力精进想受证，是否意味着上人一离世，你就不再精进？这并不是上人所要得。上人开创慈济世界的其中一项理由是希望当她不住世时，我们能依旧不间断地精进，护持慈济志业。

In the end, Marshall told me to go and watch "The Dharma as water" to better understand Master's teaching and write out my feelings. He will show it to VP Lin and see whether I have another chance to return to Hualian.

交淡后升伦告诉我去请“法譬如水”，以更加了解上人的法，并写出自己的心得。他将把我的心得交给林副总，让林副总决定我是否有另一次机会回返花莲。