I first carried out community services in Kwong Wai Shiu Hospital (KWSH) during 1997, when I was in JC (high school). Hence, when I notice that Tzu Chi has similar activities, I decide to continue what I last did ten years ago. KWSH is a hospital for the elderly who is not terminally ill but rather poor in health as well as homeless elderly. It was first started by the Cantonese clan and hence most of the elderly hospitalized speak Cantonese. Luckily for me, I am an expert (for my age) in Cantonese.
我第一次做义工的地方就是广惠肇留医院。那年,我上高中,1997年。当我得知慈济也有到广惠肇关怀时,我义不容辞的决定继续我十年前与广惠肇结下的缘。广惠肇收留长期患病与无依无靠的老人。因广惠肇是广帮所建,因此住院老人大多数是广府人士。好在,以我年龄而言,我算是广东话能手。Through Mo SX, I got to know the person-in-charge Guo Xiang SG. Tzu Chi carried out institutional care at KWSH every Tue, from 0930 to 1230 hrs, even on public holidays. Guo Xiang SG believes that coming on public holidays allows Tzu Chi people who normally need to work a chance to give their time and concern to the elderly.
通过莫师兄,我认识了广惠肇关怀负责人,国香师姑。慈济每个拜二,从早上9点半至下午12点半到广惠肇关怀老人,公共假日也如此。国香师姑认为,公共假日给需要上班的慈济人机会到广惠肇关怀。
When I first met Guo Xiang SG at KWSH during the first Tue, I was quite surprised. She looked a lot like my Sec school maths teacher: my teacher's dress is always Tzu Chi Qipao style, 4 strips in front, 4 strips behind. Guo Xiang SG has the same build and size but has a sweeter smile.
当我第一个拜二到广惠肇时,我很惊讶的发现国香师姑与我初中数学老师有几分相像。我数学老师的穿着服饰永远都是慈济的八正道旗袍型:四块长布与前,四块长布与后。国香师姑和我数学老师的身高,体形都十分相似。不过,国香师姑的笑容比较甜。At 0930 hrs, we practice in the hall the sign languages dances we will be performing later: several Tzu Chi songs and oldies in cantonese and hokkien (taiwanese). These are very fun practices, we formed a big circle and follow A1 SG's lead. She will shout out the steps, but always mixed up between "left" and "right". The last song is always "care and concern on earth". Sometimes, some elderly will join us, using the dances as a form of exercise.
早上9点半,我们先在礼堂集合,彩排下午要表演的手语团康:慈济歌曲如《感谢天感谢地》、老歌如《绿岛小夜曲》、广东歌如《上海滩》、福建歌如《爱拼才会赢》。最后一首歌曲一定是《温暖满人间》。彩排十分有趣,大家围成一圈,跟着A1师姑练。A1师姑会大声喊出步骤,但是她经常左右不分。有时,老菩萨们会把团康当做晨运,一起和我们练习。All the Tzu Chi SG are very kind and I learn how to do sign languages during these practices, although my progress is very slow.
师姑们都很友善。我就在彩排中,慢慢地把手语给学上来。At 1000 hrs, after the dances, Jia Zhen SG will brief us on upcoming events and Xie Ma Ma will share with everybody a Jing Shi aphorism. Then, we will assemble in rows of two, guys before ladies, and walk from the hall to the wards. Everybody will split into their respectively 6 groups for ward 6 (upper), 6 (lower), 7 (upper), 7 (lower), 8 (upper) and 8 (lower). If attendances at some groups are low, Guo Xiang SG will do some re-arrangement to ensure that there are enough people in every wards.
10点整,彩排后,家珍师姑会向大家报告慈济这个月的活动,谢妈妈也会与大家分享静思语。再来,大家列队,两排,男前女后,从礼堂步行至病房。进入病房前,大家划分入各自的小组:六上病房、六下病房、七上病房、七下病房、八上病房和八下病房。如果任何小组人数不够,国香师姑会从新划分一下。I remember among us, there is a Tzu Chi lady who always lag behind while we walked towards the wards because she cant bend her legs. But she is always smiling even when she is the last and only one lagging behind the team. Then there is an Indian Tzu Chi lady among us, a rare sight given that we mostly speak Chinese. Sometimes, during school holidays, SGs will bring their children along. Occasionally, Tzu Ching will join us.
记得队中,有一位师姑因为行动不便,常常掉队。但她的脸上一定挂着笑容。还有一位印度师姑,虽然不识中文,但绝不以此为障碍。学校假期时,师姑也会把孩子们带来广惠肇。有时,慈青们也会前来帮忙。 Guo Xiang SG is very strict, she wants us to maintain Tzu Chi image. Hence she is always reminding us to lower our volume and walks in twos. But, like most Singaporeans, this isnt always very successful. Everybody needs to put in more effort.
国香师姑其实要求很严,她希望我们维持慈济的形象,经常提醒我们放低声量,列队步行。不过,我们就像大多数新加坡人一样,屡劝难改。大家还需要多加努力。Into the respectively ward, everybody set out to spread happiness: chatting with the elderly, giving them massage, cutting their hairs, bring them out for a walk or singing with them. I remember a grandmother who will always put up a big smile and say "Happy hour" repeatedly when she saw us walking in.
进入各自的病房,大家就开始传播欢乐:和老菩萨们聊天、替他们按摩、扶他们出病房走走或唱歌给他们听。有一位老奶奶,每次见到我们走进来,一定笑起来,重复地说着“Happy hour (快乐时光)”。I am in ward 7 (lower), the only ward with male patients. All the Tzu Chi guys (male) helped out in this ward, under Cai Ming SG guidance. I remember that when I first started, I found that I have nothing in common to talk to the elderly. Cant talk about family since they are mostly left alone here by their family and I dont want to stir up their sad stories. They dont know much about current affairs neither since they are mostly bed bounded with no TV (some have radio). The only thing I chat with them is the weather but that is a short topic. I keep looking at my watch and wonder why that 1 short hour passes so slowly. Finally, after a few weeks, I figured out what to chat with them: China. Most of the elderly are born in China, they tell me China during their time and I tell them China now, about Hong Kong, about Canton. This conversation is fairly long.
我的服务病房是七下,唯一的男众病房。慈济师伯师兄们,在彩明师姑的带领下,全都在七下男众病房关怀。记得刚开始服务时,对着老菩萨们,真是语塞。感觉我和老菩萨们好像是两个不同世界的人,一时间,不知道要说什么好。不能提家人,怕勾起他们的伤心事。因为老菩萨们大多都是被家人寄养在广惠肇里,虽然是无奈地接受了,难免会有少许惆怅。无法与老菩萨们聊时事话题,因为他们住在广惠肇里,差不多是与世隔绝了,没电视,只有一两位有收音机。因此,就与他们聊天气,聊着聊着,很快又没话题了。故此,我经常望着手表,感叹为何短短一个小时,是如此般的难过。还好,几个礼拜后,我找到了聊天的话题:中国。老菩萨们大多在中国出世,他们向我讲述他们那个年代的广东、中国,我告诉他们现在的广东,香港。这话题能讲很久。
Cai Ming SG is an expert with everybody in the ward. She has been around for many years and know every patient name, habit and illness. She taught me a lot, like make it a point to remember every patients' name to show that you respect them, keep a shoulder length distance between patient and myself as some patient may not like close contact.
彩明师姑是七下病房的专家,在七下病房服务多年,熟悉每位老菩萨的姓名、喜好与病症。彩明师姑教会了我很多:每一位老菩萨的名字一定要记住,以示尊敬。与老菩萨们相处时,最好保持相等于手臂的距离,因不是每位老菩萨都喜欢近距离的接触。
Three important things to take note. 1, dont touch their things or sit on their bed. To us, a bed is just a bed, but to them, that is everything they have, their most significant worldly procession. Their bed is their house and we dont walk into somebody home unless we are invited.
三件事一定要勤记:第一,不能动老菩萨们的事物与坐在他们的床上。对我们而言,床再普通不过。但是,对老菩萨们来讲,床是他们最重要的资产,周边的事物是他们的唯一所有。床就等于是他们的房屋,而没有主人的允许,我们是不该擅闯别人的家。
At around 1100 hrs, lunch will be served. We will help the nurses feed them or encourage them to have more food since normally elderly have little or no appetite. Some elderly need scolding before they start to eat more. After meal, we clear away the food and help to clean their face.
十一点左右,老菩萨们用午膳。我们帮护士们喂食或鼓励老菩萨们多吃几口。老菩萨们大多没什么胃口,有些甚至要把他们当小孩般骂,方进食。用过午膳,我们把床头收拾干净,再替老菩萨们抹脸。
2, we should be encouraging them to be self-supporting, both mentally and physically. So, if they are capable of eating on their own, we let them do it, even if the process is slow. We dont volunteer to feed them. We will still massage them but encourage them to do some form of stretching exercises everyday.
第二,要鼓励老菩萨们自立。如果他们有能力自己进食,就算慢点,我们也不该喂食。我们替老菩萨们按摩,但要劝他们每天自己做些简单的运动,舒张筋骨。
3, dont get too involved, we are there to help but we must learn to first protect ourselves. Let the elderly recognize Tzu Chi logo rather than Tzu Chi individual. We have our own life and family, if we are too involved with a particular elderly and one fine day, due to work or family commitment, we are no longer able to visit KWSH, what will happen to the elderly when you have become their "one and only kin"? There is one grandma who will always ask for a particular Tzu Chi SG, who havent been appearing for quite a while. It is so sad to see her desperate face.
第三,不要太投入,我们是来关怀,但要先学会保护自己。让老菩萨们认慈济而不是认个人。我们都有自己的家人和生活,如果对一位老菩萨太过投入,会让老菩萨把你当成他生命的重心。如果日后因家庭或事业需要兼顾而不能来广惠肇时,老菩萨没了重心,那如何是好。我就见过一位老奶奶,见到慈济人就问一位师姑的下落。可是,那位师姑已很久没来广惠肇了。看着老奶奶一副失望的脸,好不叫人心酸。
At 1130 hrs, we will have our sign language dance, starting from ward 6, then 8 and finally 7. Every group will perform their own dance at their respectively ward. But Tzu Chi guys will follow throughout every dance as the grandmothers like to see young guys. We remind them of their grandchildren I guess.
十一点半,我们开始手语团康,先到六号病房,再到八号病房,以七号病房为终点。A1师姑会自己或让老菩萨选歌。各自慈济人在各自服务的病房里表演,只有师伯师兄们六间病房都参与演出。我猜想,我们让老菩萨们想起各自的孙子吧。
Initially as I dont know the steps very well, I didnt have eye contact with the elderly. I was looking at the leader, A1 SG more frequently. Later when I got the steps by heart and start having eye contacts, I realize that the elderly are really very happy to see us dance. They will sing with us, clap along or try to perform the sign languages as well. I can really see the joy on their face. It is so wonderful.
刚开始时,我对团康的手语不熟,看着A1师姑多过面对老菩萨们,因此没什么互动。日子久了,团康多了,手语熟了,互动频繁了,我发现老菩萨们真的很高兴见到我们表演手语团康。他们会清唱着歌词、拍着手,有些甚至会尝试比起手语来。看见老菩萨们脸上的笑容,无限欢喜。
Dances will end at around 1230 hrs, we will assemble again outside the wards. Guo Xiang SG will thank everybody for their contribution and ask newcomers to introduce themselves and share with everybody what they feel. Next, anybody is free to speak and share their experience.
团康十二点半结束,大家在病房外集合。国香师姑会双手合十,感谢大家的付出。过后,国香师姑请新来的志工自我介绍、心得分享。此后,任何人都能上前说话,分享经验。
That marks the end of session. Cai Ming SG also mentioned that we dont say "See you next time" but "good bye". This is because the elderly take our words seriously, we dont want to disappoint them as we truly dont know whether we can make it again next week.
至此,关怀结束。彩明师姑也说,临走前,向老菩萨们道别,说“再见”,别说“下个礼拜见”。因为有些老菩萨们会认真的等待一个礼拜后见到你。如果到时,你没空来的话,他们会很失望。
I learned a lot during my 5-months period with KWSH. KWSH didnt change much, other than a new coat of paint at the exterior, it was exactly the same when I first stepped in 10 years ago. Singapore has changed beyond recognition but these elderly seem to be forgotten by time. The nurses are mostly from China and Myanmar and they sometimes verbally abuse the elderly. I really dont know who is right or wrong: there are some elderly who are really very unreasonable and the nurses are all alone in a foreign country, suffering from homesick, underpaid and overworked.
这五个多月的时间在广惠肇关怀老菩萨们,我获益匪浅。广惠肇跟十年前一样,除了外墙上了新漆以外,一点都没变。新加坡已是沧海桑田,广惠肇的老菩萨们却几乎被世人遗忘。护士们多数从中国或缅甸前来打工,他们有时会对老菩萨们大呼小叫。可是谁是谁非,我真的很难断定。有些老菩萨的确是有点蛮不讲理,护士们背井离乡,只身在外,难免会因思乡、低薪或加时而脾气暴躁。
We address the elderly as elder Bodhisattva. We are constantly reminded that they are lying on bed suffering in order to give us a chance to perform good deeds (in the form of bringing joy to them). We are on the receiving end while they are on the giving. Through this, I learn to be humble and grateful.
我们称老人家为老菩萨,时时刻刻提醒自己,他们是苦难菩萨,身心受苦,以让我们行善、积福。他们是手心向下布施,我们是手心向上接受。通过老菩萨们,我深深的体会到“见苦、知福、惜福、造福”的真谛。
I remembered my experience with one male elderly. He is the oldest in the whole ward, ninety plus. Initially, he ignored all my response to strike a conversation. But he allowed me to feed him. This happened for several weeks. Then one day, when I was about to leave, I say goodbye to him. He opens his eyes and says “Thank you”. I was so touched. Slowly he warmed up to me and will start complaining to me about his family and tell me about his hometown back in China.
我对一位老爷爷印象深刻,他是男众病房中,年纪最大的,九十多岁。刚开始时,我很想与他聊天,但他对我却不理不睬。好在,他还让我替他喂食。就这样,过了几个礼拜,那天,我要回家时,向他道别,他睁开双眼,对我说了声“谢谢”。那时,真的很感动。慢慢地,他对我有了好感,开始向我投诉他的家人,跟我说起他在中国的家乡。
But there are also the good friends I made: Guo Xiang SG, Cai Ming SG and her son whom I only meet in cyberspace, A1 SG and her sons, Jia Zhen SG from Taiwan, Xia Ma Ma from Taiwan, Ming feng SG, Peter SX, Tze Peng SX, Yi Sheng SB and many others.
最后,我也在广惠肇关怀中结交了好多朋友:国香师姑、彩明师姑和她的儿子(我们在网络上交往)、A1师姑和她的儿子们、从台湾来的家珍师姑与谢妈妈、鸣凤师姑,Peter师兄、志平师兄、毅盛师伯和其他慈济人。
Gan En
感恩